Hoi

Kangen itu menyiksa T.T

oh boy, aku kangen kamuuuuu.... Meski kita sekampus dan sekelas, tapi tetep kangen :*

:@

The Way I Loved You - Taylor Swift

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating intoxicating
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
Never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

Dear

My dearest, Dedy Ismail Hartono

One thing you have to know, I love you :*

Luka

Kalau aku boleh memilih, mungkin aku lebih memilih untuk diam dan tak bergerak. Membiarkan semua daah mengalir di tiap sudut kesepianku. Berharap tak ada yang menggumpal dan menghalangi. Darah itu membasahi dan menutup tiap tetes kesakitan, tiap jengkal luka yang ada. Sedikit ada rasa takut bila luka itu tak dapat sembuh. Namun apa mau dikata, luka ini sudah terlanjur menganga lebar dan dalam. Hingga aku pun sulit menyembuhkannya.

Invisible - Taylor Swift

She can’t see the way your eyes light up when you smile
She’ll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by
And you can’t see me wanting you the way you want her
But you are everything to me

[Chorus:]
And I just wanna show you
She don’t even know you
She’s never gonna love you like I want to
You just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisible

There’s a fire inside of you that can’t help but shine through
She’s never gonna see the light
No matter what you do
And all I think about is how to make you think of me
And everything that we could be

[Chorus]

Like shadows in a faded light
Oh we’re Invisible
I just wanna look in your eyes and make you realize

I just wanna show you she don’t even know you
Baby let me love you let me want you
You just see right through me
But if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisible

She can’t see the way your eyes light up when you smile

Trauma itu

Tuhan, aku takut, aku takut kalau masa lalu itu terjadi lagi. Saat aku terlanjur menaruh harapan pada seseorang, dengan tega dia menghempaskannya begitu saja. Aku takut. Entah sudah berapa kali aku begini, rasanya seperti mati. Mati di saat tak tepat, mati di tempat tak tepat pula. Tuhan, bila memang aku ditakdirkan untuk terus disakiti, lebih baik ambil aku lebih cepat dari waktuku. Aku tak ingin lagi menangis karena kebodohan ini. Biar saja aku mati. Asalkan tak ada lagi luka di dadaku.

Tuhan, ijinkan aku bertanya, mungkinkah semua ini hanya permainan? Mungkinkah ini semua hanyalah sandiwara, seperti yang pernah mereka lakukan padaku? Kenapa aku harus terus begini? Apa aku tak pantas disayangi? Apa aku tak pantas dicintai? Tuhan, jawab aku.

Aku sakit, terlalu sakit. Kenapa aku harus terus menerima rasa sakit ini? Apa benar aku memang harus sendiri? Bolehkah aku membunuh perasaan cintaku ini, untuk semua lelaki? Bolehkah aku menutup diri dan hatiku untuk siapapun? Bunuh aku Tuhan, bila rasa sakit ini tak kunjung berhenti.